YOUR HAPPINESS IS THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN SHARE…….
March 7th 2007 03:27
Last year during my second hospitalisation for clinical depression, a dear friend was visiting me; trying everything to elevate my mood, comfort my extreme distress. We were discussing my favourite subject at the time, me, myself, I. More specifically my inability to find the slightest reason to be happy about anything at all, let alone anything in particular. I was riddled with guilt and remorse due to some of my recurring behaviours that had wrought havoc and caused upset to my nearest and dearest. I did not feel in any small way, worthy of understanding, caring or compassion, I simply wished to cease existing at all, such was the magnitude of my self loathing and hatred.
I told H that it was my belief that basically, I didn’t deserve to be happy as I had brought such unhappiness and distress to so many who loved me.
H looked at me and said…. “If you were happy, you would bring so much happiness to a lot of people, we all just really sincerely wish that you were happy, that’s all, no more no less”.
It’s pretty hard to reply to a statement like that, thinking back, at the time I’m pretty sure it set me off into inconsolable hysteria, as the thought that I could ever be happy about anything again was akin to me being able to travel in outer space and take a walk on the moon. I also took it personally, as I tend to, as an added responsibility….my actions were responsible for the happiness of those around me, it felt like another burden, a cross to bear…………
As I slowly worked my way out of the self-pity pit and dug into the mire of the depression with the help of medical professionals, the words remained with me. The more I thought about what was said, the more it made sense. Whilst H’s comment was by no means a panacea, it holds me in good stead during my recovery, and such a simple statement has proven to be true, countless times…
I am grateful for H’s words, her gentle reminder that one’s happiness is truly the best gift you can share with anyone…………….
I told H that it was my belief that basically, I didn’t deserve to be happy as I had brought such unhappiness and distress to so many who loved me.
H looked at me and said…. “If you were happy, you would bring so much happiness to a lot of people, we all just really sincerely wish that you were happy, that’s all, no more no less”.
It’s pretty hard to reply to a statement like that, thinking back, at the time I’m pretty sure it set me off into inconsolable hysteria, as the thought that I could ever be happy about anything again was akin to me being able to travel in outer space and take a walk on the moon. I also took it personally, as I tend to, as an added responsibility….my actions were responsible for the happiness of those around me, it felt like another burden, a cross to bear…………
As I slowly worked my way out of the self-pity pit and dug into the mire of the depression with the help of medical professionals, the words remained with me. The more I thought about what was said, the more it made sense. Whilst H’s comment was by no means a panacea, it holds me in good stead during my recovery, and such a simple statement has proven to be true, countless times…
I am grateful for H’s words, her gentle reminder that one’s happiness is truly the best gift you can share with anyone…………….
| 52 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Happiness is the perfect present.
To yourself, to others, to give, receive and....to be in.
Simplistic and corny I know...but...it's what I feel.
I wish you much much happiness...
DuskDevi
Comment by Miss Nomer
thank you.......much much happiness to you and yours as well.....
x
Miss Nomer