THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.......
January 23rd 2007 06:59
THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS.............
IF INNER PEACE IS INSIDE ALL OF US, HOW COME WE DIDNT COME WITH AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL ON HOW TO ACTIVATE IT OR IS IT ABOUT DEACTIVATING DISTRACTIONS ?
My ongoing search for inner peace took me on the weekend to a Buddhist Course entitled "Become your own Therapist". The teacher was an inspirational, feisty,(I thought for a buddhist), Australian buddhist nun who counsels death row prisoners in the United States. Whilst I didnt come away from the weekend with any great feeling of a spiritual awakening, I did take away some ideas which have been helpful. The simple act of being grateful to wake up in the morning with another day to live, in fairly reasonable circumstances with a fairly good physical body and a mind that can think, (abeit it an often irrational and self depreciating fashion), with a certain amount of life choices, is in fact something that had never occurred to me before. I am also trying to look at other people from the Buddhist perspective that we are all equal, not easy walking down inner City/Surry Hills. I am tired of my mind being a self-governed prison that limits my choices, and keeps me in a box marked "fragile, handle with care, contents volatile".
My thought processes have kept me treading water and when I become exhausted I inevitably sink below the surface into the murky depths that is my subconscious.
My current diagnosis is Clinical Depression manifesting with Alcholic Dependent Tendencies. In layman's terms, I get really depressed then I start drinking and keep drinking day and night, in a very anti-social manner till I pass out and end up in hospital , (after wreaking emotional and physical havoc on a personal and (anti)social level). I work, (sometimes), when not recovering from a binge, in media which has enabled me to hide my behaviour somewhat, sometimes, but not always, which is another reason I only work sometimes.
When I am caught up in an episode there is no reason, no rational thought, no sense of reality, no stopping. I dont get physically ill when I'm on a drinking binge and I dont get a hangover as I never sober up.
Over the years I have also been diagnosed as, Borderline Personality Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, (I found the medication excellent when ground up and snorted), suspected
Bi-Polar (bad reaction to anti-depressant), suffering from Anxiety Disorder and just plain old fashioned Alcoholic. I have tried AA, Smart Recovery, Health Farms, Silent Meditation Retreats, Mediation Courses, CBT, Psychotherapy, past life regression therapy, one on one counselling, medication, reiki, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, everything on offer short of electro-shock therapy.
I have decided to try writing my thoughts down as a therapy, to complement my current group therapy, bibliotherapy and psychology sessions. I dont know if I'll be able to maintain it, but I'll try, it will give me something to focus on.............
Thanks for listening.......
IF INNER PEACE IS INSIDE ALL OF US, HOW COME WE DIDNT COME WITH AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL ON HOW TO ACTIVATE IT OR IS IT ABOUT DEACTIVATING DISTRACTIONS ?
My ongoing search for inner peace took me on the weekend to a Buddhist Course entitled "Become your own Therapist". The teacher was an inspirational, feisty,(I thought for a buddhist), Australian buddhist nun who counsels death row prisoners in the United States. Whilst I didnt come away from the weekend with any great feeling of a spiritual awakening, I did take away some ideas which have been helpful. The simple act of being grateful to wake up in the morning with another day to live, in fairly reasonable circumstances with a fairly good physical body and a mind that can think, (abeit it an often irrational and self depreciating fashion), with a certain amount of life choices, is in fact something that had never occurred to me before. I am also trying to look at other people from the Buddhist perspective that we are all equal, not easy walking down inner City/Surry Hills. I am tired of my mind being a self-governed prison that limits my choices, and keeps me in a box marked "fragile, handle with care, contents volatile".
My thought processes have kept me treading water and when I become exhausted I inevitably sink below the surface into the murky depths that is my subconscious.
My current diagnosis is Clinical Depression manifesting with Alcholic Dependent Tendencies. In layman's terms, I get really depressed then I start drinking and keep drinking day and night, in a very anti-social manner till I pass out and end up in hospital , (after wreaking emotional and physical havoc on a personal and (anti)social level). I work, (sometimes), when not recovering from a binge, in media which has enabled me to hide my behaviour somewhat, sometimes, but not always, which is another reason I only work sometimes.
Over the years I have also been diagnosed as, Borderline Personality Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, (I found the medication excellent when ground up and snorted), suspected
Bi-Polar (bad reaction to anti-depressant), suffering from Anxiety Disorder and just plain old fashioned Alcoholic. I have tried AA, Smart Recovery, Health Farms, Silent Meditation Retreats, Mediation Courses, CBT, Psychotherapy, past life regression therapy, one on one counselling, medication, reiki, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, everything on offer short of electro-shock therapy.
I have decided to try writing my thoughts down as a therapy, to complement my current group therapy, bibliotherapy and psychology sessions. I dont know if I'll be able to maintain it, but I'll try, it will give me something to focus on.............
Thanks for listening.......
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