THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS.....WHY DO THEY CALL THEM SELF HELP BOOKS WHEN THEY'RE FULL OF ADVICE ABOUT WHAT TO DO?
January 25th 2007 05:11
Last night I had group therapy at the psychiatric hospital I was admitted to just prior to Christmas. Usually I enjoy this group in a masochistic kind of way, I find it difficult but inspiring to spend time mulling over the often trivial trials and tribulations of recovery with people who know where you're coming from. For a few hours I dont feel quite so isolated and the openess of the communication feels "real" if sometimes confronting.
A woman who was in hospital with me, whom I became quite close to, didnt turn up to the meeting. During the break the therapist told me she had been readmitted to the hospital.
My reaction suprised me, I felt incredibly disappointed, with only a tinge of concern, I found it hard to participate in the group and became quite agitated . X and I have a lot in common and had kept in touch. To be frank, it bothers me so much because it reminds me the fragility of my mind. It is an example of how I am only one step away from missing the next rung on the ladder and sliding back and starting again. Each time I land in a heap, I am a little more despondent and a little more doubtful that I can climb out of the hole. Her backslide in a way is a reality check and a reminder not to be too cocky.
The camaderie and caring that came from spending a few weeks intensive therapy with a ward full of folk. who in the real world, I honestly wouldnt give the time of day to, was something I wasnt expecting. I spend a lot of time isolating, living in my head so to speak.
There were lot of tears and frustrations and ievitable conflict, but many more laughs.
The hospital became "Club Medicine", and the patients, passengers travelling on an adventure towards sanity and beyond.
I have shelves and shelves full of unread "Self Help" books which I have been collecting for over 20 years now. In the bookshop the titles on the covers seem so appealing, "Become Happy in 8 minutes!", "Free to be me", etc etc. It's like groundhog day, I pick the new book up, I start reading and before I get through the first page I think....If it's about helping myself, how can reading the words of someone who has had very different life experiences and more than likely has very different thought processes achieve any kind of long term change to my particular way of thinking?
Buddha says that a being's situation cannot improve until he knows his true mind deeply and honestly, and only then can positive changes occur. Sounds so simple, but for me the hardest thing in the world is sitting quietly with myself, I do everything I can to avoid it.
I watch TV and read a book at the same time, I read while I am eating, I read while I am on the excercise bike, I read 2 books at once, or more likely a book and a magazine................ADD....dont think so, compulsive maybe, confusing definitely, mentally tiring often, boring never...........
A woman who was in hospital with me, whom I became quite close to, didnt turn up to the meeting. During the break the therapist told me she had been readmitted to the hospital.
The camaderie and caring that came from spending a few weeks intensive therapy with a ward full of folk. who in the real world, I honestly wouldnt give the time of day to, was something I wasnt expecting. I spend a lot of time isolating, living in my head so to speak.
There were lot of tears and frustrations and ievitable conflict, but many more laughs.
The hospital became "Club Medicine", and the patients, passengers travelling on an adventure towards sanity and beyond.
I have shelves and shelves full of unread "Self Help" books which I have been collecting for over 20 years now. In the bookshop the titles on the covers seem so appealing, "Become Happy in 8 minutes!", "Free to be me", etc etc. It's like groundhog day, I pick the new book up, I start reading and before I get through the first page I think....If it's about helping myself, how can reading the words of someone who has had very different life experiences and more than likely has very different thought processes achieve any kind of long term change to my particular way of thinking?
Buddha says that a being's situation cannot improve until he knows his true mind deeply and honestly, and only then can positive changes occur. Sounds so simple, but for me the hardest thing in the world is sitting quietly with myself, I do everything I can to avoid it.
I watch TV and read a book at the same time, I read while I am eating, I read while I am on the excercise bike, I read 2 books at once, or more likely a book and a magazine................ADD....dont think so, compulsive maybe, confusing definitely, mentally tiring often, boring never...........
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