THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS......
July 3rd 2007 03:00
THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS......
Silence is better than unmeaning words.
Pythagoras
Silence is better than unmeaning words.
Pythagoras
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Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
...And as Deorre and I agreed on another post -- "Silence is golden".
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
the day i learnt that silence can be loud, was the day i let it teach me..
good to see you, and see you posting..
~Lily
Comment by Miss Nomer
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
It's good to see you again, I've missed your Thoughts of the Day posts as they are often spot on with my life, what I feel and inspirational.
Totally agree with this one.....and the funny thing was that I was just working on a piece saying that same thing, especially when it comes to death or other 'uncomfortable' subjects.
It astounds me how many people need to talk to fill the gaps of silence. Silence can be truly beautiful even if you're with people.
Byeeee
Comment by David
I agree with Tracy. I've missed these 'Thought for the Day' posts.
David ...
Comment by Miss Nomer
I found myself only yesterday trying to fill in the empty space between myself and someone else, when this morning I realised that just being there in the moment would have been enough x
Comment by Miss Nomer
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I'm inspired by this:
I have decided to take the small amount of time it takes each day to post...sort of like a mindfulness meditation in a way...
What a great idea....
Tracy
Comment by Ronald Green
nothing
First of all I would need to know what he meant by "better". In which way better? And then I would ask what "unmeaning words" means. Unmeaning to whom? Perhaps they were unmeaning to the listener, but were full of meaning to the speaker.
Sometimes silence is worse than words, unmeaning or otherwise. If a woman asks a man, "How do I look?" what would he say? If his answer is silence, it would be disastrous. Or how about silence after the question, "Do you love me?" That silence means "no" loudly and clearly. Of course I'm not saying that words that are a lie are better; but they are certainly not worse than silence.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I see what you mean...in that sense, silence could be hurtful. You're right. I once asked my husband how I looked and he paused and looked me up and down and said 'great', but the fact that he took so long upset me (women huh?). It's not that I wanted him to lie to me, rather I was scared of what the silence meant. That's an interesting point.
I was actually thinking of people that have to frantically fill silences for their own reasons, which I can't assume to know but I suspect are often fear, habit, ego, a difficulty to listen......there's probably a million of reasons.
And unfortunately there are a few people in my life that do this...I need to learn some skills (hence my new post!)
I also think that some people don't realise they're doing it (which doesn't necessarily make it any better, unless they are maiking some effort-that makes a difference to me), for example a few years ago a friend worked in a call centre while I worked at home and every week she would come over for some tea. I always looked forward to those nights until I realised they were extremely one-sided. As soon as she walked in the door she would say,'I have to tell you everything about my day.' and off she would go...in great,graphic unpaused detail.
I tried a few ways to get her to slow down, some were gentle, giving her a drink and telling her we had hrs to chat,we could get comfy etc. Then when other efforts didn't work, it reached the point where I said something more blunt to her about how quickly she spoke (and when I say blunt, I mean in a jokey way, as you might be getting the gist, I'm not that assertive with certain big personalities) and she said, 'WELL, I NEED TO TALK, I'VE BEEN WORKING ALL DAY.' I replied I had too and I worked on my own. I felt like yelling, I have fucking no-one to talk to, I cooked dinner for you and you're pissed off at me? But I didn't. Why the fuck didn't I? Again, hence my recent post.
She got indignant and annoyed and said that obviously she wasn't free to talk, that I was telling her what to do. What I was trying to do was moderate her and also get myself heard, but it didn't work. The dynamic continued until I tapered off the nights.....She's a great friend but not a good listener....
Thank-you for the venting opportunity, Miss N....now you see why I've missed your posts?
Tracy
Comment by Miss Nomer
I do understand where you are coming from..I dont like uncomfortable silences...they can be more than painful.
However, if a silence is uncomfortable could it be that the person who is silent is busily composing a "correct" answer, one that the other party wants to hear rather than the truth?
To use your examples...if I looked dreadful in an outfit I would rather someone I loved tell me so than leave the house wearing it.
If I asked someone if they loved me.....and there was silence I would know what I already knew, that they didnt love me...love is a emotion that can be so eloquently expressed without words...
I pick a thought for the day based on what is "happening" in my life at that time. Today I realised that I have gotten into a habit of "filling" in time and space with conversation that sometimes is not really required..and if I actually just try to be in the moment and enjoy the pause and space and let it be what it is...there's nothing wrong with that..
I'd rather silence anyday than a lie.....
Thanks for your comment......
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Like Tracy I have some friends who are great talkers....and the world worst listeners. A few years ago I went on a 2mth holiday and travelled the US and Europe. On my return a friend came to see me. He walked in the door, said hi and then proceeded to talk about his latest trip to his family's farm for an hour and a half. Didn't even ask how my trip was.
I would have much preferred the silence.
Kylie
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Ron
nothing
It is only with people who are completely comfortable with each other that silence is comfortable, even desirable.
But there are other instances, where silence is not only desirable but natural. I remember dawn over the Grand Canyon in the company of hundreds of people. As the sun made its first appearance as a dot in the firmament, there was a sudden deep silence. It was silence of awe. It certainly was not nothing - it was a "loud silence".
Silence is never nothing. It is always a space-filler between somethings, and it never lasts.
Comment by Miss Nomer
Comment by Ron
nothing
Comment by Miss Nomer
without any distractions at all.....hence the silence..it was quite confronting to say the least. However, the silence therein was definitely not a space filler it had a very real and useful purpose in itself.....
Comment by Ron
nothing
As you say, the point was to be totally alone, because before that you hadn't been. It was in contrast, and reaction, to destractions.
Silence cannot be anything else than something to be contrasted to noise. And it always ends.
Comment by Miss Nomer
Comment by Ron
nothing
It's funny you should make the point about other senses, because I just touched on that in my own blog:
http://www.orble.com/nothing/
where my look at silence is part of my investigation of nothing.
Yes, I know a lot about nothing. So where does that leave me?
Comment by Miss Nomer