THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS.....
January 28th 2007 10:01
THE THOUGHT FOR THE DAY IS.....HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THAT YOUR "NICE YOU" IS THE SAME AS SOMEONE ELSE'S "NICE YOU"....AND DOES IT MATTER?
My ex rang me today, (not the ex ex long term relationship ex who left me for his 2nd ex wife after 9 years), the ex who's window I threw the TV through e x). I hadnt heard from him since Christmas, we had a lovely chat then as you do, and that was that or so I thought until next Christmas. Today, out of the blue, for no validkind of do the polite thing that ex's do reason he called me. He didnt really seem to have anything much to say, but he did say "I miss the nice you". I was taken by suprise and sort of choked out a muffled, "That's a lovely thing to say", which was probably not that appropriate or what I really felt, and excused myself and finished the call. I was having Yum Cha with my friend who is back in the Psych Hosptial. After 4 days they let you out for a few hours if you seem ok, and I know how institutionalised you can become quite quickly in there and how its nice to have visitors, plus I wanted to clap eyes on her for myself to see if she was doing ok, which she is. We spent the rest of lunch ruminating about failed relationships and why we only both only seem to feel "valid" if we have a significant other. I think the psych term is Co-dependency, but I cant remember.
I noticed I had a lump in my throat from the unexpected phone call, you know the one you get from holding back a great big old fashioned bawling session. I kept shovelling food into my gob and lamenting lost loves and ended up with indigestion, the lump in my throat having shifted south. The yumcha I might add was exceptional, snow pea and prawn gow gees, green beans in black bean sauce, scallop & prawn steamed buns, slipperly noodles, fish stuffed eggplant and beancurd and custard tarts. A suprise considering the suburb is more known for Indian and Lebanese Cuisine.
Hour's later I am still pondering my ex's comment, it keeps going round and round in my head, I am pretty sure I know the difference between "the nice me" and whatever "other me" he doesnt miss, but that is only my perception, maybe his "nice me" is a different me to my "nice me" and maybe my "nice me" isnt really that nice. Sort of like the little girl who had the little curl right in the middle of her forehead.
Anyhow, its all too hard this self analysis, I'm rubbish at it. I'll finish eating my Rocky Road Drumstick then I'm going to bed with a trashy magazine and the TV on and maybe I'll play a CD at the same time so I dont have to think and then maybe I'll sleep and hopefully if I dream it'll be a lovely kind of dream and not an MSG after effect kind of restless tiring dream.....
My ex rang me today, (not the ex ex long term relationship ex who left me for his 2nd ex wife after 9 years), the ex who's window I threw the TV through e x). I hadnt heard from him since Christmas, we had a lovely chat then as you do, and that was that or so I thought until next Christmas. Today, out of the blue, for no validkind of do the polite thing that ex's do reason he called me. He didnt really seem to have anything much to say, but he did say "I miss the nice you". I was taken by suprise and sort of choked out a muffled, "That's a lovely thing to say", which was probably not that appropriate or what I really felt, and excused myself and finished the call. I was having Yum Cha with my friend who is back in the Psych Hosptial. After 4 days they let you out for a few hours if you seem ok, and I know how institutionalised you can become quite quickly in there and how its nice to have visitors, plus I wanted to clap eyes on her for myself to see if she was doing ok, which she is. We spent the rest of lunch ruminating about failed relationships and why we only both only seem to feel "valid" if we have a significant other. I think the psych term is Co-dependency, but I cant remember.
Hour's later I am still pondering my ex's comment, it keeps going round and round in my head, I am pretty sure I know the difference between "the nice me" and whatever "other me" he doesnt miss, but that is only my perception, maybe his "nice me" is a different me to my "nice me" and maybe my "nice me" isnt really that nice. Sort of like the little girl who had the little curl right in the middle of her forehead.
Anyhow, its all too hard this self analysis, I'm rubbish at it. I'll finish eating my Rocky Road Drumstick then I'm going to bed with a trashy magazine and the TV on and maybe I'll play a CD at the same time so I dont have to think and then maybe I'll sleep and hopefully if I dream it'll be a lovely kind of dream and not an MSG after effect kind of restless tiring dream.....
| 33 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog