COMING BACK FOR SECONDS...
August 9th 2007 06:13
I’ve heard people talk about getting a second chance in life. Is there really any such thing? Something happens, things turn to custard, you get bogged down in the muddy mire, hopefully, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and you’re good to go again? I tend to think that there are many opportunities that present themselves, some just aren’t the right ones and if you mistakenly choose one that is wrong, you will inevitably end up in a heap.
But lets say there is such a thing as a second chance, or many such chances....
You have to recognise that it is indeed a chance to move forward. If one is caught up in the space that has been created by, for example, a major life crisis, it is often difficult to identify anything positive in life at all, see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have found that being “stuck” within intense feelings can induce a tunnel vision like affect, a belief that life as I knew it had ended, at times I found it impossible to contemplate any kind of future at all. This is not a good place to be.
After one catalytic event in my life I found, for the first time, that talking about my feelings was crucial. The bubble needed to be burst, perspective returned. Talking, talking, talking…I tend to keep feelings bottled up. Understanding friends and family played an integral role, but there are only so many things I can say to people who are close to me, especially about dark and self-harming thoughts. Thankfully, I have a wonderful G.P., and I was referred to counselling. I was initially very hesitant, what.. tell a perfect stranger what is going on in my head! Something inside me knew I needed to get “things” out, and in the long term, (it aint no quick fix), I found it to be of enormous benefit, providing guidance, sifting through feelings, identifying and challenging self-defeating behaviours and thoughts, and providing a sort of muddy clarity, if that makes sense.
Feelings of guilt, self-blame and inadequacy had eroded every last shred of my self-esteem. I learnt that confidence in one’s self to be able to make positive life choices, is paramount in order to be able to move forward in an affirmative fashion.
The difference in swimming the length of the pool freestyle as opposed to dog paddle.
One tool I took from counselling was simply doing a personal inventory, I was surprised at how revealing it could be about what I really thought about me.
Draw a line down the centre of a piece of paper on the Left hand side List all of the positive aspects of your personality and achievements, on the right hand side list the negative aspects of your personality or actions. I found it often quite enlightening to notice the good things about my self that have been brushed aside as insignificant and taken for granted, whilst the negative thoughts and behaviours were forefront in my mind and memories.
Self-confidence once restored, was a key ingredient to getting back into the game of life. If I allow myself to, (and that’s a story for another day),…something as simple as a daily reflection on the positive’s, and acceptance of the negatives can play an important part in being able to move forward constructively.
We become what we think, lets try to become the best we can be by thinking positively.
But lets say there is such a thing as a second chance, or many such chances....
You have to recognise that it is indeed a chance to move forward. If one is caught up in the space that has been created by, for example, a major life crisis, it is often difficult to identify anything positive in life at all, see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have found that being “stuck” within intense feelings can induce a tunnel vision like affect, a belief that life as I knew it had ended, at times I found it impossible to contemplate any kind of future at all. This is not a good place to be.
After one catalytic event in my life I found, for the first time, that talking about my feelings was crucial. The bubble needed to be burst, perspective returned. Talking, talking, talking…I tend to keep feelings bottled up. Understanding friends and family played an integral role, but there are only so many things I can say to people who are close to me, especially about dark and self-harming thoughts. Thankfully, I have a wonderful G.P., and I was referred to counselling. I was initially very hesitant, what.. tell a perfect stranger what is going on in my head! Something inside me knew I needed to get “things” out, and in the long term, (it aint no quick fix), I found it to be of enormous benefit, providing guidance, sifting through feelings, identifying and challenging self-defeating behaviours and thoughts, and providing a sort of muddy clarity, if that makes sense.
Feelings of guilt, self-blame and inadequacy had eroded every last shred of my self-esteem. I learnt that confidence in one’s self to be able to make positive life choices, is paramount in order to be able to move forward in an affirmative fashion.
The difference in swimming the length of the pool freestyle as opposed to dog paddle.
One tool I took from counselling was simply doing a personal inventory, I was surprised at how revealing it could be about what I really thought about me.
Draw a line down the centre of a piece of paper on the Left hand side List all of the positive aspects of your personality and achievements, on the right hand side list the negative aspects of your personality or actions. I found it often quite enlightening to notice the good things about my self that have been brushed aside as insignificant and taken for granted, whilst the negative thoughts and behaviours were forefront in my mind and memories.
Self-confidence once restored, was a key ingredient to getting back into the game of life. If I allow myself to, (and that’s a story for another day),…something as simple as a daily reflection on the positive’s, and acceptance of the negatives can play an important part in being able to move forward constructively.
We become what we think, lets try to become the best we can be by thinking positively.
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Comment by Mountain Fog
However, the brief comment you left on my blog would suggest you still have a huge conflict within. I would like to chat briefly with you, and this can be done by sending a note to each other rather than openly here for everyone to read. I only suggest this because, if what you said to me refers to what my history was about, maybe I can be of some small assistance...you never know!
failing that, it is always nice to have a shoulder to cry upon, or to have a laugh with!
cheers
fog